How to get an ex girlfriend back

This question seems to have crossed every male's mind at least once, and a quick on-line search shows that it's still being asked over and over. The good news is that the answer is very simple, but also very elusive. Read on...

STEP 1
SLOW DOWN! If you just broke up with your girlfriend, wanting to get back with her is NOT an unusual reaction. After all, your routine has been taken away from you and this pushes you out of your comfort zone. But running back to your ex - without a plan - it's not going to do you any favors, and at worse it may spoil your chances of rekindling the relationship, so force yourself to slow down and take a little 'ME' time to reflect.

STEP 2
Ask yourself: Do I really want my ex back? Be honest with yourself - nobody else is inside your head with you, so the only person you're kidding by not being completely honest is yourself. Think hard about this question, because the wrong answer could cost you a lot of time (months or even years!) that you can never get back. Be sure you understand the difference between wanting your ex girlfriend back and MISSING the companionship. This is CRUCIAL. Keep asking yourself this question until you are clear.

STEP 3
Consider the quality of your relationship. If you decided in the previous step that it is indeed your ex that you miss, and somebody else's company just won't do, then reflect upon your relationship with your ex: was it a healthy, fulfilling relationship? Or was it a turbulent, argumentative affair? This is extremely important to your quality of life - and maybe even to your longevity - so take it very seriously. Even if you miss your ex, or you think you want your ex back, if the relationship wasn't good or healthy for you, then you need to seriously consider abandoning your plan: there are over 6 billion people on this planet, and in your town (or city) alone there are probably dozens or hundreds if not thousands of suitable partners for you, so there is no excuse for putting up with second-class behavior from anybody.

Step 4
If after all this reflection you have decided that you truly want your ex back, then it's time to get a plan. Shortly after a breakup, many people experience a knee-jerk reaction and run back to their ex pleading for a second chance. Many times this doesn't work. The flaw is quite simple: your relationship broke down as a result of BOTH of you (it's no use just blaming one person - how somebody reacts to something is ALSO a factor). So if you run back to your ex, having just split up, you are essentially asking her to revive something that wasn't working! In other words, if the man (you) that came out of that relationship goes back for another try... what do you think his chances of success are? Pretty bleak, I'd say. And here is the clue: if something wasn't working in the past, you need to CHANGE something before you go back. Make that change be YOU and your attitude.

Step 5
Get ready. Spend a little time on yourself; reflect; ask yourself what it is that you can change about yourself in order to make you a better person to be with. Don't spend time thinking about what anybody else needs to change about themselves - you have no control over other people, so this is a pointless exercise. Think about you only. Be brutally honest with yourself: don't skip over the 'ugly bits'. If you go back to any relationship as the 'old' you, your chances of success are considerably less than if you were a much improved person.

Step 6
Accept the outcome. When you feel happy (or happier) and confident in yourself and the changes (or commitment to change) that you have made, it's time to go back to your ex and test the water. Don't throw yourself on the floor and plead for a chance - this is NOT attractive. In fact, you may end up repelling her. Be cool, calm, confident and HONEST. Don't be afraid to tell her how you feel (cool doesn't mean you can't have feelings) but don't make anything you say sound like a plea. Realize and accept that she will either say yes or no - and try not to take it personally. If your ex wants to spend some time alone, then you - or anybody else - has no right to deny her that. If she found somebody else and moved on, then don't blame the time you took to reflect: you needed to improve anyway, and your chances of getting a yes from her were much less than they are now. Also, if she didn't wait around for you, maybe she didn't want to. This is something you just had to accept.

Step 7
Be positive and go! Once you understand and accept that things may not go your way, put those thoughts neatly away in a recess of your mind and forget about them. Now is the time to think positive. Have things turn out the way you want them in your mind, and feel happy at the new and improved you. When you're radiating with a healthy positive attitude, then it's time to go and get your ex back.